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  • Tootsie 8:09 pm on November 16, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Heavy, , , Relationships   

    Heavy 


    I have been trying to escape from you

    For years

    And still you’re a strong presence

    In my life

    The thought of you poisons my attitude

    The mere mention of your name

    Makes me want to crawl in a

    Corner

    And no longer exist

    My life has been nothing

    But a revolvement of you

    Of what you did

    Of what you are still capable of doing

    To me

    I run away

    Inside of myself

    To get away

    FromΒ  all this torture

    To try and somehow find the numbness

    I use to have

    The coldness I used to deal with this

    Experience

    Is it possible that I’ve used it all up?

    Now I’m stuck here

    Having to deal

    With all this heaviness

    That I can’t keep carrying

    I don’t know how I found strength

    To carry this burden for so long

    Or is this where I belong now?

    In order to get rid of it all

    In order to walk away

    With the little sanity I have left?

    I really don’t know anymore

    I wish I didn’t care either

     

    -Tootsie

     
    • rbafroggie 5:27 am on November 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      I really identify with this a lot. I like your writing very much. I used to write a lot of poetry too, but some of the stuff I have is very angry and/ or explicit. I don’t know if I will ever post it or not.

      • Tootsie 5:40 am on November 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        Thank You:) Some of my writing is very angry as well.. haven’t posted any of those really. But I hope to read one of yours, if you ever post one πŸ™‚

    • Talon 4:59 pm on November 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Tootsie, this was hard to read. As a Mom myself, I can’t imagine leaving a child behind.

      The hard thing is, how could you not care? That’s what’s so hard to come to terms with.

      Beautiful poem.

      • Tootsie 5:14 pm on November 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        That is the hardest to come to terms with, I agree completely!
        Thank you for the comment! πŸ™‚

  • Tootsie 9:24 pm on November 7, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: family, Only girl, , Relationships   

    Only one girl! 


    I’m only one person

    One body

    One heart

    One soul

    A person who is not able to reach

    EVERYONE

    Yet tries to impact all

    Unsatisfaction

    Unfulfilled needs

    Hunger for solicitude

    And allotment

    I’m only one

    Trying to do it all

    But only receiving

    Dissatisfaction

    And as a consequence

    Groans of greed

    Screams of self-centeredness

    I’m only one

    With expectations to be everywhere at once

    Simply inconceivable

    Expectations to only care about one thing

    To forget the others

    Mayhem

    Only one girl

    Tortured by the lack of time

    Persecuted for not meeting a standard

    I’m only one girl

    Labeled substandard

     

    -Tootsie

     
  • Tootsie 1:48 am on November 5, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Blissfully painful, , Relationships   

    Blissfully Painful 


    I love the way you text me just to say

    I love you

    The way you ignore me when you don’t

    Get your way

    The way your smile drives me crazy

    Yet your evil eyes keep me

    From sinking in deeper

    Your touch melts me in your arms

    And in an instance your words solidify me

    I don’t know whether to be happy

    Or disappointed because I can’t get

    Up and leave

    This love has trapped me

    Ultimately

    I love it all

    The good and the bad

    The pleasure and the pain

    I don’t want to give you up

    Even though I know I should

    These are the times when I’m just content

    Living in this blissfully painful situation

    Not expecting anything

    Just hoping..for your affection

     

    -Tootsie

     
    • snuggles 1:56 am on November 5, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Omg. Everything you expressed (minus him saying “I love you,” is what I feel….

      I love it. You’re an amazing writer

    • Tootsie 2:05 am on November 5, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Awww thanksss. You too! ❀

    • Michelle 12:19 pm on November 5, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      I love this!

    • ishabelle 6:36 pm on November 18, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      i like this…. i like the parody in the title… nice one!

      • Tootsie 7:26 pm on November 18, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks! I actually got inspired by a song I heard that said something about a situation being blissfully painful. I thought it was interesting. I’m glad you liked! πŸ™‚

  • Tootsie 3:04 am on November 4, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , Relationships   

    Here we are 


    Here we are

    At the final destination

    This rut, this bad place

    A place where the cold lives

    Where our love has dampen

    Where our kisses have dissipated

    I am left with these conflicting feelings

    Of love and hate

    Of happiness and sorrow

    Of the old you and this impostor

    I’m trying to hold on

    To the memories

    To the words once spoken

    To this love that came out of nowhere

    But…

    I hate you so much

    I just want to let this love

    Slip from my

    fingers

    Slip right into the ground

    To no longer be revived

    Or remembered

    Nevertheless

    Something about you

    Makes me latch on to you more

    And yearn the hurt that is and

    Always will be inevitable

     

    -Tootsie

     
  • Tootsie 3:11 am on October 23, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , Relationships, The good the bad and the ugly   

    Untitled as of now.. Inspired by relationships around me. 


    When you came into my life

    You caught me by surprise

    I wasn’t searching

    I wasn’t expecting to fall in love

    Here I am now

    Deeply invested

    Unleashing all the love

    I have within

    Time pass

    And by surprise

    You completely change

    Towards me

    Towards my love

    How am I suppose

    To pretend like

    Everything is okay

    When you are so distant?

    What am I suppose to do

    With all this love?

    All the love I grew for you

    Did you know it would

    Turn out this way?

    Did you know you would

    Stop loving me one day?

    What am I suppose to do now?

    No answer…

    Through all the silence

    You hear my heart break

    And even though it hurts you

    To pain me this way

    No action is taken

    Only the letting go

    As you walk away

     

    -Tootsie

     
  • Tootsie 5:34 pm on July 29, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Halfway, , , Making it work, , Relationships   

    Halfway 


    I know you don’t understand me

    And probably never will

    You will never understand

    That I will always love you

    Regardless of what you’ve said

    You probably won’t ever be able to believe

    That your deeply embedded in my heart

    How can I expect you to understand

    Or believe?

    How can I expect you to love me the way

    I need to be loved

    When I don’t love you the right way?

    Maybe one day

    We will meet each other halfway

    Halfway to love

     

    -Tootsie

     
    • Bianca 7:27 pm on July 31, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      You express yourself eloquently. Can’t wait for you to post more!!!

    • sarairivera 2:19 pm on August 2, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      beautiful.

      How do you not love the right way?

    • Tootsie 11:25 pm on August 2, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Eh. I am a complicated human being.

  • Tootsie 10:08 pm on July 26, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , Relationships, The way I love you   

    The way I love you 


    I love you, My child

    I express my love for you everyday

    When the rays of light slightly

    Warm your face

    When the breeze gently caresses your body

    When the leaves on the trees sway side to side

    Dancing for you

    Yet you don’t notice these things

    Everything I have made in this world

    I have made it for you

    With you in mind

    You are so special to Me

    My creation

    You cry because you say

    You are not perfect

    Yet you were perfectly created

    By My Hands

    Look around you

    And you will find Me

    Seek Me

    And you will know

    All the ways I love you

     
    • Francis 6:55 am on July 27, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      This is beautiful.

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