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  • Tootsie 6:45 am on December 5, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Guest blogger, Poetry, Whose to blame,   

    Guest Blogger- Sarai 


    Whose To Blame?

     

    Some part of me wants to blame You for allowing me to fall for him.

    Part of me wants to ask You why You let my emotions get so deeply involved.

    I want to cry out and ask why You let me love him so much when he could care less about me.

    Why did You let him kiss me? Why did You allow him to touch me?

    Some part of me wants to ask why didn’t You protect my heart better.

     

    You helped me keep my ground when it came to others.

    You helped me wait for over five years

    But he came along and effortlessly had everything I held back on for so long.

     

    I want to ask You why was it so easy for me to fall for him.

    Why did You allow me to fall for someone who would only hurt me?

    Someone who doesn’t even want to be friends.

    I wonder  why you didn’t you make me stronger when it came to him.

     

    I want to blame You for this heartache I’m feeling

    But in reality it was all my fault.

    I let him kiss me. I wanted him to.

    I let him use me.

    I let him come and go as he pleased.

    I knew there were others he paid more attention to.

    I knew he wasn’t giving me what I deserved

    But I stayed.

     

    I wish I could blame him. I sometimes want to blame You

    But it was me all along.

    I am to blame.

     

    Links to Sarai’s Blogs: (check them out)

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    • NotATameLion 12:47 pm on December 5, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Beauty and pain. Thanks for posting this. It is powerful.

      • sarairivera 8:24 pm on December 5, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        Beauty and pain…life. Thank you! I’m glad you liked it!!

      • Promising Poets Parking Lot 8:04 pm on March 8, 2011 Permalink | Reply

        love your blog, your poetry is impressive!
        Make a contribution to us today, the collection is to be closed within 24 hours.
        Thanks, we value your support. xxx

        welcome back your presence is misse.
        cheers.

    • Carol Ann Hoel 8:05 pm on December 5, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Very touching words. Thank you for sharing…

    • Jingle 11:46 pm on December 20, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      lovely representation of your blogging friend..

      Greetings!
      Here is the end of the year awards 4 you, enjoy!

      End of The Year Awards 4 Friends of Jingle or Jingle Poetry Community

      Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! You Are The Best!

      Link a poem to our potluck today, We send blessings all the way to brighten your day!

    • Raquel 2:55 pm on February 18, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      There really isnt anyone to blame. We cant help it when our heart falls… I love it. You 2 are awesome!!

  • Tootsie 12:06 am on December 2, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: hurt, , pain, Poetry, , some one once told me   

    Some one once told me 


    Some one once told me

    Love is not suppose to hurt

    That love was shown through actions

    And meaningless in words

    That love could conquer all

    But there’s no room for error

    That love has no limits

    Yet there are endless exceptions

    That love is innate

    But I know nothing of it

    That love is to be earned

    And shameful to easily surrender

    That love will never find its way into my life

    Because love does not overlook imperfections

    If love does all that

    How am I not going to hurt?

     
    • Becky 5:51 am on December 2, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Beautifully said, Tootsie.

    • Carol Ann Hoel 1:51 pm on December 2, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Beautiful expression of the inadequacy of unconditional love. Jesus loves you, Tootsie, unconditionally. He loves us in spite of all our imperfections. And He is deity. My heart goes out to you as I read the disappointment and pain revealed in your poetry. Blessings to you, Tootsie…

    • carlos zayas 6:10 pm on December 2, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      hi tootsie it’s ur brother skull crushing finale the miz is aweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesome

    • Jingle 8:10 pm on December 2, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      cute,
      pleasant read…

      welcome to poets rally.
      scan the participant list, starting from the link next to you, visit and comment for a minimum 18, let me know after you are done.
      have fun!

      Glad to have you.
      Cheers!

    • Scent of my heart 9:15 pm on December 2, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Love is very complicated feeling … keep the best out of it, whenever it comes your way

      • Tootsie 9:34 pm on December 2, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        It really is complicated!..thanks for the comment

    • thoughtsnotlost 10:47 pm on December 2, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Well done!

    • Bodhirose 10:59 pm on December 2, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      It’s complicated because human beings get their egos involved and start trying to control other people. It’s hard not to though…

      See how your thoughtful poem triggered a reaction in me? Thanks, Tootsie! 🙂

      • Tootsie 11:00 pm on December 2, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        I agree with you completely! I’m glad it triggered a reactions haha thanks for the comment 🙂

    • Yola 11:31 pm on December 2, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      I can feel the tug and pull, the ebb and flow of this old riddle. Well done!

    • iBeingMe 1:30 am on December 3, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Beautifully written 🙂

    • heather grace stewart 1:34 am on December 3, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      You really got this right. Love gives and takes, has its ups and downs–just how you set up this poem.

      • Tootsie 1:36 am on December 3, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        It really does, I guess its what you make of it. Thank you for the comment!

    • The Reason You Come 3:52 am on December 3, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      I’ve been there; wondered about love, felt as if I’d never find it. But I did, more than once, in fact. Also, love does overlook imperfections. So don’t despair.

      Here’s to love! 🙂

    • budhaaah 8:00 am on December 3, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Yes however is it possible? It brings the most joy and yet tears us apart like no animal ever will

      • Tootsie 8:02 am on December 3, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        Does the good moments make it all worth it? Thanks for the comment 🙂

    • Alethea 8:06 am on December 3, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Beautiful….loved the mixture of innocence and some complex emotions in this poem 🙂

    • jargnar 11:07 am on December 3, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      brilliant! 🙂

    • somewhere else 2:55 am on December 4, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      clearly stated contradictions – love is enigmatic and inescapable.

      • Tootsie 2:57 am on December 4, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        I agree with you. I don’t think anyone will ever be able to understand it. Thanks for the comment 🙂

    • Sumit Sarkar 5:04 am on December 4, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Oh..thanks for sharing your feelings…
      This is a lovely poem 🙂

    • julielaing 5:28 am on December 4, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Wow–thanks for your comment on my rally entry! I’m so happy you enjoyed it. And whoever told you “That love will never find its way” into your life was so wrong, as I’m sure you must know. Thanks for sharing this emotional piece.

      • Tootsie 5:30 am on December 4, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        It was an amazing poem, by an amazing writer 🙂
        Aww thanks! and thank you for the comment ❤

    • Seasweetie 2:59 am on December 5, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Very relateable for me – I like this – thank you for sharing. I look forward to reading more of your poetry.
      My rally submission is here: http://seasweetie.wordpress.com/2010/12/01/haiku/

      • Tootsie 3:20 am on December 5, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you. I will go check your submission right now 🙂

    • booguloo 3:53 am on December 5, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      The ying must have the yang. You express it well here.

    • Sumit Sarkar 2:55 pm on December 19, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      What a beauty…

      “That love is innate
      But I know nothing of it
      That love is to be earned
      And shameful to easily surrender” I love you poetry… 🙂

    • Tootsie 4:13 pm on December 27, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you..I am glad 🙂

  • Tootsie 12:03 am on December 2, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: alone, Day dream, Poetry, trapped   

    Day Dream 


    I sit in a room surrounded by people

    Yet I’m still alone

    Lost somewhere in my thoughts

    Thinking about a better place

    A place where I wouldn’t have to pretend

    That I am all together

    Where I would laugh

    Instead of wanting to scream

    Smile instead of wanting to weep

    I want to be anywhere

    Anywhere but here

    Anywhere where my company

    Isn’t you

    Or these four walls

    These horrible tiles on the floor

    This horrible furniture

    That doesn’t even match with the decor

    Anywhere, but here!

     
    • Becky 5:53 am on December 2, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      This is how I feel when I’m at the nursing home, wishing my mom and I were anyplace else but there. This so perfectly describes it. Thank you, Tootsie.

  • Tootsie 3:32 am on November 26, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , I miss them, , Poetry, Ruined,   

    Ruined 


    What did I do?

    Where did I go wrong?

    To deserve the agony of this slow burn

     

    I know I can’t be the only one

    Hurting this way

    I can’t be the only one bounded by misery

    Struggling for the freedom

    For the carelessness

    I once had as a young child

     

    Is there anyone that can comprehend,

    Such lonesome,

    Such frigidness

    Are you out there?

     

    People always say,

    “It will be okay”

    And still I am stuck

    Pleading and screaming

    No more!

     

    When will that be over?

    When will I find the warm days I long for?

    The days where I slow danced with the breeze

    The days before you ruined my normalcy

    The days before you murdered my happiness,

    My innocence

     

    Where are those naive days before I met life?

    I miss them

     

    -Tootsie

     
    • Monsta5000 10:12 pm on November 26, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Me like you poems Tootsie!

    • Becky 11:24 pm on November 26, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Amen to that sister. Once again, I identify with it 100%. That is exactly where I am at right now. Nicely said.

    • sarairivera 2:59 am on November 28, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Wow. This is about the third time I read this and I am still amazed. Your words capture the hurt so well. Love your writing

    • The Writer Gal 1:33 am on November 29, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Tootsie, you’re not alone. And, you have a gift of expression…keep using it! Write on!

      The Writer Gal

    • azfree 3:50 pm on December 2, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      I have felt this oh too often. Very well expressed!!

    • Jessica 11:40 am on December 14, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      I guess everyone feels like this at some point. But there’s much to enjoy from our experiences too. Your passion comes through well here.

      http://jessicasjapes.wordpress.com/2010/12/13/ice-cream/

    • Tootsie 12:12 pm on December 14, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you.. and you are correct. With experience comes growth 🙂

    • Jingle 8:50 pm on December 14, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      lovely wonders..
      life is imperfect,
      it is not your fault…

      well done poem.
      Thanks for sharing!
      A+

  • Tootsie 1:56 am on November 23, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Happiness, Poetry, , searching   

    Happiness 


    Searching for a smile

    Seeking an embrace

    Sifting through this love

    Or this hate

    Scrutinizing and probing

    Creating and destroying

    Only to fabricate this monstrosity;

    My life

    I have sabotaged it all

    To find the one thing

    We all hunger for

    I have hurt you

    I have left you

    I have forgotten you

    To some how hold on to

    This fleeting happiness I have

    I have yet been able to find it

    I have yet been able to hold on to it

    I have yet been able to truly say

    I am happy

    I have found happiness

    -Tootsie

     
    • raquel 2:03 am on November 23, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      :/… this one is nice trully yet kinda sad. but i still love it.

    • Tootsie 2:10 am on November 23, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Gracias!

    • askcherlock 2:10 am on November 23, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Very thought-provoking!

      • Tootsie 2:14 am on November 23, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        Ha! I was just thinking that! Thanks for the comment 🙂

    • fiveloaf 4:16 pm on November 23, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      nice blog . nice words!

    • Tootsie 6:37 pm on November 23, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you 🙂

    • Jay 12:40 pm on November 24, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Hey love that banner, great poem too! 🙂

    • Angela 5:43 pm on November 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      This is a beautiful piece.

    • sarairivera 3:01 am on November 28, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Love this. its so very real

    • myshiningrainbow 5:05 am on December 8, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Well expressed. Yes, sometimes I find myself searching for that happiness, that smile and then I end up getting confused about what ‘happiness’ is! ‘Happiness’ may not be all joy and laughter. It might just be a deep sense of being true to oneself. It may bring tears or smile. But, I’ll be happy. From a personal point of view, I visualize your poem ending with this latent line ” I have found ‘I’ ” . In that manner, I like the way your poem keeps the interpretation of happiness open to the reader. Great blog! I’ll keep coming back for more 🙂

      • Tootsie 5:12 am on December 8, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you. I liked what you said, “It might just be a deep sense of being true to oneself”… I agree it might be :). I hope you do keep coming back, I appreciate it!

  • Tootsie 8:16 pm on November 16, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Dear mom, , Mother and daughter, Poetry,   

    Dear Mom 


    Am I not suppose to trust you?

    Aren’t you suppose to look out for me?

    Sometimes I get the feeling

    That you feel obligated to

    Show me love

    Your motherly instinct does not apply

    With me

    In reality deep down inside

    You still hate me

    And can’t stand the sight of me

    We are both caught and

    Stuck in this moment

    Where everything went bad

    The point where our relationship

    Morphed and somehow didn’t survive

    The point where there was instant regret

    All these years I have done

    Nothing but blame myself

    Blamed you

    Oh, how much I blamed you!

    It’s not our fault

    It’s definitely not my fault

    He came between us

    And caused this chaos

    My world- your world

    Was destroyed in a matter of minutes

    The difference between me and you, Mother

    You have moved on

    And left me behind

    Under all this debris

    Where I’m not able to

    Breathe, move, or see anything

    Around me

    You left me here

    You didn’t reach out for me

    You didn’t get help

    I’ve been waiting for years

    But you never came back

    For me

    -Tootsie

     
    • Jay 12:36 pm on November 24, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Hey nice poem, I agree mothers are supposed to be there for ya and dads too. Peace.

    • Jingle 10:04 pm on November 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      well expressed,
      Thanks for the beautiful poem.
      you rock!

      claim awards/treats via entry #114.
      have fun!

  • Tootsie 8:09 pm on November 16, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Heavy, , Poetry,   

    Heavy 


    I have been trying to escape from you

    For years

    And still you’re a strong presence

    In my life

    The thought of you poisons my attitude

    The mere mention of your name

    Makes me want to crawl in a

    Corner

    And no longer exist

    My life has been nothing

    But a revolvement of you

    Of what you did

    Of what you are still capable of doing

    To me

    I run away

    Inside of myself

    To get away

    From  all this torture

    To try and somehow find the numbness

    I use to have

    The coldness I used to deal with this

    Experience

    Is it possible that I’ve used it all up?

    Now I’m stuck here

    Having to deal

    With all this heaviness

    That I can’t keep carrying

    I don’t know how I found strength

    To carry this burden for so long

    Or is this where I belong now?

    In order to get rid of it all

    In order to walk away

    With the little sanity I have left?

    I really don’t know anymore

    I wish I didn’t care either

     

    -Tootsie

     
    • rbafroggie 5:27 am on November 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      I really identify with this a lot. I like your writing very much. I used to write a lot of poetry too, but some of the stuff I have is very angry and/ or explicit. I don’t know if I will ever post it or not.

      • Tootsie 5:40 am on November 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        Thank You:) Some of my writing is very angry as well.. haven’t posted any of those really. But I hope to read one of yours, if you ever post one 🙂

    • Talon 4:59 pm on November 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Tootsie, this was hard to read. As a Mom myself, I can’t imagine leaving a child behind.

      The hard thing is, how could you not care? That’s what’s so hard to come to terms with.

      Beautiful poem.

      • Tootsie 5:14 pm on November 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        That is the hardest to come to terms with, I agree completely!
        Thank you for the comment! 🙂

  • Tootsie 8:40 pm on November 12, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , Poetry   

    Short & to the point.”This anger” 


    This anger swells up inside of me

    Fighting to break through

    This anger tries to climb out of me

    Like it has been long overdue

    This anger leaves behind so much debris

    Obstructing my view

    Why must this anger still live inside of me?

    Stuck to my heart- breaking it in two

     
  • Tootsie 9:24 pm on November 7, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: family, Only girl, Poetry,   

    Only one girl! 


    I’m only one person

    One body

    One heart

    One soul

    A person who is not able to reach

    EVERYONE

    Yet tries to impact all

    Unsatisfaction

    Unfulfilled needs

    Hunger for solicitude

    And allotment

    I’m only one

    Trying to do it all

    But only receiving

    Dissatisfaction

    And as a consequence

    Groans of greed

    Screams of self-centeredness

    I’m only one

    With expectations to be everywhere at once

    Simply inconceivable

    Expectations to only care about one thing

    To forget the others

    Mayhem

    Only one girl

    Tortured by the lack of time

    Persecuted for not meeting a standard

    I’m only one girl

    Labeled substandard

     

    -Tootsie

     
  • Tootsie 1:48 am on November 5, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Blissfully painful, Poetry,   

    Blissfully Painful 


    I love the way you text me just to say

    I love you

    The way you ignore me when you don’t

    Get your way

    The way your smile drives me crazy

    Yet your evil eyes keep me

    From sinking in deeper

    Your touch melts me in your arms

    And in an instance your words solidify me

    I don’t know whether to be happy

    Or disappointed because I can’t get

    Up and leave

    This love has trapped me

    Ultimately

    I love it all

    The good and the bad

    The pleasure and the pain

    I don’t want to give you up

    Even though I know I should

    These are the times when I’m just content

    Living in this blissfully painful situation

    Not expecting anything

    Just hoping..for your affection

     

    -Tootsie

     
    • snuggles 1:56 am on November 5, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Omg. Everything you expressed (minus him saying “I love you,” is what I feel….

      I love it. You’re an amazing writer

    • Tootsie 2:05 am on November 5, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Awww thanksss. You too! ❤

    • Michelle 12:19 pm on November 5, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      I love this!

    • ishabelle 6:36 pm on November 18, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      i like this…. i like the parody in the title… nice one!

      • Tootsie 7:26 pm on November 18, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks! I actually got inspired by a song I heard that said something about a situation being blissfully painful. I thought it was interesting. I’m glad you liked! 🙂

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