Revisiting the Past
The red paint on the wall haunts me
I make my way up the steep steps
Once I make it to the top
I stand for a while and compose myself
Slowly I walk to the rusted door
It takes a few jerks but it opens
The apartment is well lit
And yet it drowns me in its darkness
I go directly into my childhood bedroom
Three windows are in the room
But still it feels enclosed
Like a torture chamber
I sit on the floor
And place my hands by my side
The coldness of the room makes me shiver
You are no longer here
To physically taunt me
But unfortunately mentally you have power
While I continue to sit here
I begin to feel like a nine year old again
Vulnerable
Scared
Mad
And damaged
You have conveniently left
Behind the monster here
So easily- effortlessly
While I am forever stuck
With this child
A child ruined
Abandoned
And left to die within herself
Over and over again
sarairivera 9:01 pm on July 14, 2010 Permalink |
So sad. I love how you express yourself.
How great that God not only heals but offers us so much more!
Raquel 9:25 pm on October 25, 2010 Permalink |
I really love this one. every word of it is true. unfortanetly there are things that have happened that even as we say we are over it and im healed we lie. we lie to others as we do to ourselves. we arent healed. we never are. once that pain is inside our hearts its there where it will forever stay. we might put on a mask , smile and say im ok. but the walls inside us are shattering. killing us slowly. making us want nothing but to end that crucial pain that has done nothing but haunt us and hurt us.
Tootsie 7:46 am on November 23, 2010 Permalink |
We forgive, but never forget. To forget would be foolish.