Revisiting the Past

The red paint on the wall haunts me

I make my way up the steep steps

Once I make it to the top

I stand for a while and compose myself

Slowly I walk to the rusted door

It takes a few jerks but it opens

The apartment is well lit

And yet it drowns me in its darkness

I go directly into my childhood bedroom

Three windows are in the room

But still it feels enclosed

Like a torture chamber

I sit on the floor

And place my hands by my side

The coldness of the room makes me shiver

You are no longer here

To physically taunt me

But unfortunately mentally you have power

While I continue to sit here

I begin to feel like a nine year old again

Vulnerable

Scared

Mad

And damaged

You have conveniently left

Behind the monster here

So easily- effortlessly

While I am forever stuck

With this child

A child ruined

Abandoned

And left to die within herself

Over and over again