Updates from November, 2010 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • Tootsie 3:32 am on November 26, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , I miss them, , , Ruined,   

    Ruined 


    What did I do?

    Where did I go wrong?

    To deserve the agony of this slow burn

    I know I can’t be the only one

    Hurting this way

    I can’t be the only one bounded by misery

    Struggling for the freedom

    For the carelessness

    I once had as a young child

    Is there anyone that can comprehend,

    Such lonesome,

    Such frigidness

    Are you out there?

    People always say,

    “It will be okay”

    And still I am stuck

    Pleading and screaming

    No more!

    When will that be over?

    When will I find the warm days I long for?

    The days where I slow danced with the breeze

    The days before you ruined my normalcy

    The days before you murdered my happiness,

    My innocence

    Where are those naive days before I met life?

    -Tootsie

     
    • Monsta5000 10:12 pm on November 26, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Me like you poems Tootsie!

    • Becky 11:24 pm on November 26, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Amen to that sister. Once again, I identify with it 100%. That is exactly where I am at right now. Nicely said.

    • sarairivera 2:59 am on November 28, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Wow. This is about the third time I read this and I am still amazed. Your words capture the hurt so well. Love your writing

    • The Writer Gal 1:33 am on November 29, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Tootsie, you’re not alone. And, you have a gift of expression…keep using it! Write on!

      The Writer Gal

    • azfree 3:50 pm on December 2, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      I have felt this oh too often. Very well expressed!!

    • Jessica 11:40 am on December 14, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      I guess everyone feels like this at some point. But there’s much to enjoy from our experiences too. Your passion comes through well here.

      http://jessicasjapes.wordpress.com/2010/12/13/ice-cream/

    • Tootsie 12:12 pm on December 14, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you.. and you are correct. With experience comes growth πŸ™‚

    • Jingle 8:50 pm on December 14, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      lovely wonders..
      life is imperfect,
      it is not your fault…

      well done poem.
      Thanks for sharing!
      A+

  • Tootsie 6:05 am on November 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply  

    Happy Thanksgiving! 


    Enjoy!

    From Tootsie ❀

     

     
    • rbafroggie 6:35 am on November 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Why thank you Tootsie, how very sweet! πŸ˜€ Happy Thanksgiving to you too dear!

    • rbafroggie 6:38 am on November 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      How did you send the Thanksgiving post to me? I would like to send you one.

      • Tootsie 6:45 am on November 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        It is probably because you are subscribed to me πŸ™‚ I posted it on my blog.

    • Jay 5:16 pm on November 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Happy Thanksgiving! Eat some foods!

    • stacy 5:16 am on December 2, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      makes me want to drink alchoholic beverages

  • Tootsie 1:56 am on November 23, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Happiness, , , searching   

    Happiness 


    Searching for a smile

    Seeking an embrace

    Sifting through this love

    Or this hate

    Scrutinizing and probing

    Creating and destroying

    Only to fabricate this monstrosity;

    My life

    I have sabotaged it all

    To find the one thing

    We all hunger for

    I have hurt you

    I have left you

    I have forgotten you

    To some how hold on to

    This fleeting happiness I have

    I have yet been able to find it

    I have yet been able to hold on to it

    I have yet been able to truly say

    I am happy

    I have found happiness

    -Tootsie

     
    • raquel 2:03 am on November 23, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      :/… this one is nice trully yet kinda sad. but i still love it.

    • Tootsie 2:10 am on November 23, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Gracias!

    • askcherlock 2:10 am on November 23, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Very thought-provoking!

      • Tootsie 2:14 am on November 23, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        Ha! I was just thinking that! Thanks for the comment πŸ™‚

    • fiveloaf 4:16 pm on November 23, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      nice blog . nice words!

    • Tootsie 6:37 pm on November 23, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you πŸ™‚

    • Jay 12:40 pm on November 24, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Hey love that banner, great poem too! πŸ™‚

    • Angela 5:43 pm on November 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      This is a beautiful piece.

    • sarairivera 3:01 am on November 28, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Love this. its so very real

    • myshiningrainbow 5:05 am on December 8, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Well expressed. Yes, sometimes I find myself searching for that happiness, that smile and then I end up getting confused about what ‘happiness’ is! ‘Happiness’ may not be all joy and laughter. It might just be a deep sense of being true to oneself. It may bring tears or smile. But, I’ll be happy. From a personal point of view, I visualize your poem ending with this latent line ” I have found ‘I’ ” . In that manner, I like the way your poem keeps the interpretation of happiness open to the reader. Great blog! I’ll keep coming back for more πŸ™‚

      • Tootsie 5:12 am on December 8, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you. I liked what you said, “It might just be a deep sense of being true to oneself”… I agree it might be :). I hope you do keep coming back, I appreciate it!

  • Tootsie 8:09 pm on November 16, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Heavy, , ,   

    Heavy 


    I have been trying to escape from you

    For years

    And still you’re a strong presence

    In my life

    The thought of you poisons my attitude

    The mere mention of your name

    Makes me want to crawl in a

    Corner

    And no longer exist

    My life has been nothing

    But a revolvement of you

    Of what you did

    Of what you are still capable of doing

    To me

    I run away

    Inside of myself

    To get away

    FromΒ  all this torture

    To try and somehow find the numbness

    I use to have

    The coldness I used to deal with this

    Experience

    Is it possible that I’ve used it all up?

    Now I’m stuck here

    Having to deal

    With all this heaviness

    That I can’t keep carrying

    I don’t know how I found strength

    To carry this burden for so long

    Or is this where I belong now?

    In order to get rid of it all

    In order to walk away

    With the little sanity I have left?

    I really don’t know anymore

    I wish I didn’t care either

     

    -Tootsie

     
    • rbafroggie 5:27 am on November 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      I really identify with this a lot. I like your writing very much. I used to write a lot of poetry too, but some of the stuff I have is very angry and/ or explicit. I don’t know if I will ever post it or not.

      • Tootsie 5:40 am on November 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        Thank You:) Some of my writing is very angry as well.. haven’t posted any of those really. But I hope to read one of yours, if you ever post one πŸ™‚

    • Talon 4:59 pm on November 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Tootsie, this was hard to read. As a Mom myself, I can’t imagine leaving a child behind.

      The hard thing is, how could you not care? That’s what’s so hard to come to terms with.

      Beautiful poem.

      • Tootsie 5:14 pm on November 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        That is the hardest to come to terms with, I agree completely!
        Thank you for the comment! πŸ™‚

  • Tootsie 8:40 pm on November 12, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , ,   

    Short & to the point.”This anger” 


    This anger swells up inside of me

    Fighting to break through

    This anger tries to climb out of me

    Like it has been long overdue

    This anger leaves behind so much debris

    Obstructing my view

    Why must this anger still live inside of me?

    Stuck to my heart- breaking it in two

     
  • Tootsie 1:42 pm on November 8, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: For those who wait   

    For those who wait 


    Look at this blog and comment!!!!

    http://matthew6v33.wordpress.com/

    Enjoy!

     
  • Tootsie 9:24 pm on November 7, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: family, Only girl, ,   

    Only one girl! 


    I’m only one person

    One body

    One heart

    One soul

    A person who is not able to reach

    EVERYONE

    Yet tries to impact all

    Unsatisfaction

    Unfulfilled needs

    Hunger for solicitude

    And allotment

    I’m only one

    Trying to do it all

    But only receiving

    Dissatisfaction

    And as a consequence

    Groans of greed

    Screams of self-centeredness

    I’m only one

    With expectations to be everywhere at once

    Simply inconceivable

    Expectations to only care about one thing

    To forget the others

    Mayhem

    Only one girl

    Tortured by the lack of time

    Persecuted for not meeting a standard

    I’m only one girl

    Labeled substandard

     

    -Tootsie

     
  • Tootsie 1:48 am on November 5, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Blissfully painful, ,   

    Blissfully Painful 


    I love the way you text me just to say

    I love you

    The way you ignore me when you don’t

    Get your way

    The way your smile drives me crazy

    Yet your evil eyes keep me

    From sinking in deeper

    Your touch melts me in your arms

    And in an instance your words solidify me

    I don’t know whether to be happy

    Or disappointed because I can’t get

    Up and leave

    This love has trapped me

    Ultimately

    I love it all

    The good and the bad

    The pleasure and the pain

    I don’t want to give you up

    Even though I know I should

    These are the times when I’m just content

    Living in this blissfully painful situation

    Not expecting anything

    Just hoping..for your affection

     

    -Tootsie

     
    • snuggles 1:56 am on November 5, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Omg. Everything you expressed (minus him saying “I love you,” is what I feel….

      I love it. You’re an amazing writer

    • Tootsie 2:05 am on November 5, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Awww thanksss. You too! ❀

    • Michelle 12:19 pm on November 5, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      I love this!

    • ishabelle 6:36 pm on November 18, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      i like this…. i like the parody in the title… nice one!

      • Tootsie 7:26 pm on November 18, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks! I actually got inspired by a song I heard that said something about a situation being blissfully painful. I thought it was interesting. I’m glad you liked! πŸ™‚

  • Tootsie 3:04 am on November 4, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , ,   

    Here we are 


    Here we are

    At the final destination

    This rut, this bad place

    A place where the cold lives

    Where our love has dampen

    Where our kisses have dissipated

    I am left with these conflicting feelings

    Of love and hate

    Of happiness and sorrow

    Of the old you and this impostor

    I’m trying to hold on

    To the memories

    To the words once spoken

    To this love that came out of nowhere

    But…

    I hate you so much

    I just want to let this love

    Slip from my

    fingers

    Slip right into the ground

    To no longer be revived

    Or remembered

    Nevertheless

    Something about you

    Makes me latch on to you more

    And yearn the hurt that is and

    Always will be inevitable

     

    -Tootsie

     
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