Updates from July, 2010 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • Tootsie 1:08 am on July 31, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Beauty, , ,   

    Beauty 


    Mid afternoon

    People rushing through Park St.

    Completely oblivious to the beauty around them

    The crystal clear sky

    With a few strokes of clouds

    The leaves that are starting to sprout out

    Birds flying- swiftly moving with the breeze

    They notice none of this

    Yet the men do not fail to notice

    The young girls who are lost

    And do not know the danger of no values

    Or the women who are too preoccupied

    With their fresh curls from the salon

    To notice anything

    Consuming themselves and their time

    With superficial beauty

    When the true beauty of creation

    Surrounds their every being

     

    -Tootsie

     
  • Tootsie 5:34 pm on July 29, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Halfway, , , Making it work, ,   

    Halfway 


    I know you don’t understand me

    And probably never will

    You will never understand

    That I will always love you

    Regardless of what you’ve said

    You probably won’t ever be able to believe

    That your deeply embedded in my heart

    How can I expect you to understand

    Or believe?

    How can I expect you to love me the way

    I need to be loved

    When I don’t love you the right way?

    Maybe one day

    We will meet each other halfway

    Halfway to love

     

    -Tootsie

     
    • Bianca 7:27 pm on July 31, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      You express yourself eloquently. Can’t wait for you to post more!!!

    • sarairivera 2:19 pm on August 2, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      beautiful.

      How do you not love the right way?

    • Tootsie 11:25 pm on August 2, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Eh. I am a complicated human being.

  • Tootsie 5:34 pm on July 28, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Free me, ,   

    Free Me 


    The sadness I escaped

    Is trying to hold me captive again

    It feeds off my tears

    And takes joy in my fears

    Slowly evaporating my hope

    Vanishing it before my eyes

    How can I run from something

    I was comfortable in for years?

    How can I stand

    When it is easier to stay down?

    God, are you still there?

    Will you free me

    From these chains

    I locked around my own heart?

    Or will I be imprisoned

    And tortured

    By these self-inflicted wounds?

     

    -Tootsie

     
  • Tootsie 10:08 pm on July 26, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , The way I love you   

    The way I love you 


    I love you, My child

    I express my love for you everyday

    When the rays of light slightly

    Warm your face

    When the breeze gently caresses your body

    When the leaves on the trees sway side to side

    Dancing for you

    Yet you don’t notice these things

    Everything I have made in this world

    I have made it for you

    With you in mind

    You are so special to Me

    My creation

    You cry because you say

    You are not perfect

    Yet you were perfectly created

    By My Hands

    Look around you

    And you will find Me

    Seek Me

    And you will know

    All the ways I love you

     
    • Francis 6:55 am on July 27, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      This is beautiful.

  • Tootsie 10:03 pm on July 26, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , ,   

    Anger 


    I was so built up with anger

    Unable to do anything about it

    Except cry

    And shout Your Name

    I shouted out

    Over and over

    Left exhausted

    Finally I close my eyes

    To see You

    Holding me

    Brushing my hair back

    Comforting me

    You came in my time of need

    Wiped away my tears

    And rid me of that

    Unbearable anger

    That was consuming me

    Destroying every ounce of strength

    But there You were

    When I called You

    There You were…

    Again

     
  • Tootsie 4:07 am on July 15, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Help Me, ,   

    Help Me 


    God,

    Help me. Take away anything

    That is holding me back from you

    Help me change

    Help meĀ  get lost in You

    I’m tired of feeling empty

    So eerily vacant

    Only You can make it better

    You can heal my heart

    And rest my fears about the future

    Without You

    I’m lost

    Looking for a purpose

    When my main purpose

    Has always been to love You

     
  • Tootsie 8:56 pm on July 14, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , Over,   

    Over 


    I admit I’m not over it

    I’m not over all the torture

    I’ve been put through

    All the therapy sessions

    Awkward conversations

    My heart has yet to be healed

    With the band- aid

    You put on this 4 inch deep wound

    It has been left infected

    Left to spread

    And cause more pain

    I have to find a way

    To stitch this hole

    To finally be over it all

    Over the pain

    And over the affect of you

     
  • Tootsie 8:51 pm on July 14, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , Waiting   

    Waiting 


    I’ve been waiting

    Waiting patiently

    For change

    For you to seek Me

    Still you run around

    Lost and confused

    Empty and broken

    You know I’m here

    Waiting to complete you

    Waiting to heal you

    I tell you time and time again

    Everything you long for

    Will be found in Me

    You don’t hear Me

    Or is it

    That you refuse?

     
    • sarairivera 9:06 pm on July 14, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      ahhh sounds exactly like Ive been feeling! But last night I finally got tired of running and refusing to listen!

      • Tootsie 9:10 pm on July 14, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        It happens that way. We are so hard headed. But God is merciful, and will tell us time and time again.

  • Tootsie 6:22 am on July 5, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Free,   

    Free 


    I started this new journey to

    Find my way back

    Only to be left feeling alone

    On this straight narrow track

    There is so much hope

    If I keep walking with strength

    Up this steep slope

    Yet my friends flee

    They ridicule me

    And battle me to reach a defeat

    One day I will reach my destination

    And there He will be

    The Lord of creation

    With His arms wide open unto me

    Engulfing me in His light

    Finally free

     
    • sarairivera 9:02 pm on July 14, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      amen!

      and could you really call those who flee – friends? maybe they never were

    • Raquel 9:18 pm on October 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      I soo agree with sarai!.

  • Tootsie 6:18 am on July 5, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , Revisiting the Past,   

    Revisiting the Past 


    The red paint on the wall haunts me

    I make my way up the steep steps

    Once I make it to the top

    I stand for a while and compose myself

    Slowly I walk to the rusted door

    It takes a few jerks but it opens

    The apartment is well lit

    And yet it drowns me in its darkness

    I go directly into my childhood bedroom

    Three windows are in the room

    But still it feels enclosed

    Like a torture chamber

    I sit on the floor

    And place my hands by my side

    The coldness of the room makes me shiver

    You are no longer here

    To physically taunt me

    But unfortunately mentally you have power

    While I continue to sit here

    I begin to feel like a nine year old again

    Vulnerable

    Scared

    Mad

    And damaged

    You have conveniently left

    Behind the monster here

    So easily- effortlessly

    While I am forever stuck

    With this child

    A child ruined

    Abandoned

    And left to die within herself

    Over and over again

     
    • sarairivera 9:01 pm on July 14, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      So sad. I love how you express yourself.

      How great that God not only heals but offers us so much more!

    • Raquel 9:25 pm on October 25, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      I really love this one. every word of it is true. unfortanetly there are things that have happened that even as we say we are over it and im healed we lie. we lie to others as we do to ourselves. we arent healed. we never are. once that pain is inside our hearts its there where it will forever stay. we might put on a mask , smile and say im ok. but the walls inside us are shattering. killing us slowly. making us want nothing but to end that crucial pain that has done nothing but haunt us and hurt us.

      • Tootsie 7:46 am on November 23, 2010 Permalink | Reply

        We forgive, but never forget. To forget would be foolish.

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